For good?
I am not sure..
I must say I have missed blogging quite a bit.
It was fun.. It helped me vent, sometimes get in trouble.
I think I have changed.. For the better im hoping.
For some reason things aren't that bad anymore.
For some reason I feel like I can finally control myself again,
Be the person who I have always wanted to be.
Why do I feel different?
I don't know.
All I know that is for once, I actually feel real.
I don't feel fake... I don't feel like a lie.
For once I am just able to be me.
But then I do have my down days when I slip back,
Get lost in who I was and what I was.
How do I get back?
How do I keep myself from making the same mistakes?
I still think about it sometimes.
If it had never had ended.
What would have happened?
How would I have been?
Would it have made me better?
Was it the right choice?
I think so.
I know it.
I see it.
I hear it.
I learn things, new things about this.
And I think.. How could I have not noticed this before?
Why did I not realise this?
Why did I not notice that a life can be a lie.
What's the point in lying?
Hiding behind a wall that can be so easily broken down.
I've learnt.
Lies can never be hidden.
They will be found.
People will know.
So whats the point?
Why do this to the people most important to you,
Didn't you realise it was going to happen?
Didn't you realise that everyone you knew and cared about was just going to leave you in the end.
You.
You helped me change.
You and them and some others.
Some to learn from their stupidity,
Them to learn that people actually care,
Others to know that people are always watching,
and You.
You helped me to be me.
You helped me open and not be afraid.